random thing

its funny cuz celeste used to hang with me and cat and now she seems to like steph better:P
and me and steph have funny relashionship, always joking around shes coolv:) and cat is fun and were closer now:)
my class sure is something but hey thats life;)

The truth

so today sandrine asked me bout my neclase charms and told her one was from my boyfriend. Thenn she starts investigating me:P asked me who asked who out and how and his school, and age and name... and i was like he asked me at the park, and then she imagined a cute whole scene of him asking me then us kissing and it being really cute and so far nothing has been cute with J, and really I want the hole chessy stuff, i wish our first kiss was cute, somewhere thoughtfull not just in his basement, and ex when he gave me the music note, he cud have thought about what charm to get and if he chose that then tell me y, b thoughtfull... like ok ya im having fun with him, but i want a cute relashionship... someone who likes me for me, loves all my inperfections and the way that i live, not just chilling... he hasnt done anything that ment a lot, it feels like im in this alone sometimes and thats truly not right:" like its still not too alte for him to do something, he could bring me somewhere that meens a lot to him, he cud get me to hang with his sister not just b like hi hi, i cud meet his dad and lil siblings...
heres what i really want in a ralshionship: i want a guy that i can open up to, and that he can open up to me, that i can talk to, i can act tcrazy and he will love it not think im weird. SOmeone that thinks about, that will do thoughtfull things, cuz as iv been saying my whole life: its the thought that counts, so who cares if its ugly! i once made my mom a cake and worked really hard but it turned out not to b edible, but thought that counts! someone that want push me, i can b rough with but he will no when to just hold me and never want me to get hurt and go any where. Ya i want all the cheesy stuff
jeremy, hes closed up, but as julia said hes my challenge thats y i havent broken up yet, sure its been nice having a boyfriend i guess but theres nothign there and if he doesnt change then the hell with him. he pushes me around a lot, but only sometimes i wish he would hold on to me and never let me go. he dosent ask about me, like i wanna tell him so much, maybe mad cuz im open, but the hell i wanna tell him, he never asks and 1/2 seems not to want to know. Its nice being around him though, its really 1/2 the time its nice when were just not doing anythign adn other half arkward :/ for me any way, and hes just a stupid guy who wants sex but really i just want a cute relashionship with trust, respect, hapiness
i wish he wud open a lil bit every now and trhen and that he'd tell peeps bout us, tell me what hes thinking and not b so closed up, mysterious in bad way
SIMPLE PLAN!! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

i really dont no what im thinking but i like francescos idea best, tell j best way possible how i feel and if he doenst change within a motnh dump his ass! adn then imma b free and really confused
my brain is weird .....:/

-Slushies with skittles drinker-

action item concert

Action Item concert – October 24 2011

The whole day I was dying of excitement. I just could not wait for the concert. Then finally I heard the bell ring indicating class is over for the day. I got downstairs and met up with Erika and Julia and we headed towards the bathroom on the second floor to change. I took off my uniform and put on my t-shirt I had made with many of Action Item’s lyrics and a pair of jeans from American Eagle. After Julia put on Erika’s shorts and her famous vegetarian top and Erika had put on a pair of jeans with a I’m with the band t-shirt we headed outside very quickly so we would not get caught like last time. Her dad was outside in the car waiting for us when we got out. We headed straight to Ami’s house to pick her up. She got in the car by climbing over me and my many bags to squish in the back with Erika. We then finally headed towards La Sala Rosa, which is where the concert was. Once we got there I left my jacket in the car so I would not have to carry it around with me. We first decide to go inside where people were setting up to see if we could get our tickets since we only had a recit. The guy that came to talk to us was a random dude and our eyes were glueded to Action Item on the stage behind him. He told us: You will be able to see them during the show but for now I need you to go back outside. So we head back down the 2 flights of stairs and out the doors. We walk towards a group of people not too far from the door and then find _______Brandon and Allan from The After Party. We started talking to them, they asked us for help. They could not read the French parking signs and wanted to know if they were allowed to park where they were. Once that was settled they were bringing some things upstairs and talking to us. We asked at one point if we could help. And they said yes, so we brought up a stool, blanket, thing to hold the merch, a big box, and a couple of other things. We went upstairs 3 times and every time other staff were smiling at us, once going up Burnham saw us and said we were cool or something like that :D. At one point when we were chilling near the truck the staff guy took the nerds and put them all over the ground L and threw the carton on the floor and Julia took it. When we went back down we hung out with Brandon from Hollywood ending and spent a hour with him in total. We talked about anything. He showed me his bracelets made by fans and said he likes the small ones best, and that he was to have an elastic over them during the show cause they move too much :P . We talked about All Time Low, he said he loves guts, do you want me dead and a couple other ones I did not know cause they are older. We talked about how we will have to go across the street to the Halloween store and try on some stuff. We took some pictures with him and got some signatures. We met Mike from Hollywood Ending not too long after, we were all just chilling and talking about anything. It was amazing cause I was freaking out inside… And he mentioned at one point how he doesn’t like crazy fans like Justin Beiber ones and that we are really cool. Then he said he has to go for his sound check and we saw at that moment that people were going inside for the VIP to begin. We were the last ones to get inside and waited for a while on the stairs with everyone else. We ate Erika’s candy then and not too long after we head inside. We first go get some merch while others were having pizza and taking pics with the only band there, Action Item. I got a gray hoodie that says Action Item on the back, I got a AI bracelet. Then we get some pizza, I only had 2 pieces in all. We eat then take a group pic with the band and everyone else there. Then just with AI and us. After that everyone was really just walking around, Ai coming to see us and us talking with them. Anthony danced with 2 girls at one point. We gave Dan his lion teddy bear that was supposed to be a penguin that me and Erika won for him, mostly Erika but I tried twiceJ We asked Dan about the Vodka again, but did not get anyL It was really cool just chilling with them. Then Anthony gets a guitar and sits down while Brian stands beside him. Everyone comes around them and we all sit down. Me and Erika asking them to sing Where you belong and others asked for new songs. They played ours <3 and it was amazing… They then played home, amazing again! After people got up to go in front of the stage, We head over there and Julia, and Ami get front row, me and Erika behind them. I noticed people were starting to come inside now and then other merch went on sale so I went while the girls saved my place. I got a Days Difference and Hollywood Ending bracelet. I got back and had to pass between people to get to my spot. Then the show started with All Day Dreamers. They were fun in the moment, cudnt understand what he was saying and he touched a girl’s face at once point- weird but once flicked a girl’s hair and I found that cute :P I was jumping to their music while others just stood still. When they were done it was time for Hollywood Ending. I tried not to freak out too much with them but they were amazing! Dan was in front of me, such a lil cutie. Cameron and Chris were at the other end L and I died seeing Mike play the drums…. He was AMAZINGGGGGG he was doing tricks with the sticks and playing like a total pro! I couldn’t get over it! Tyler was cute singing but my favs are def Cameron, Mike and Chris and Dan but in the way that he’s a lil cutie J God I died with Chris accent… Then it was Days Difference’s turn to perform. Jeremiah was in front of me. Jeremy started on the piano and he played the guitar at one point. After a couple songs Erika asked me to scream speakers and when I did Jeremiah smiled, but they played the song after. I had such a blast! I asked for Jeremiah’s pick at the beginning of the show and towards the end I was touching his hand and so was Julia and she got it. Julia gave me the pick after and I was so happy! Then it was Burnham’s turn to perform. They set up and Alex was in front of me. He’s cute :D I felt bad I didn’t know their songs, I only knew catch me if you can and they played the lazy song and I laughed so hard at one point: the part where he says I’ll meet a really nice girl have some really nice__ singer___ says nothing and crowd screams SEX! Burnham was a lot better than I had expected them to be. At the end I got Alex’s guitar pick and Ami asked David for his drums sticks so he went back to get them and he gave her one and me one <3 During the show I was staring at David a lot and he was staring at me too sometimes :D And starring at Alex<3 the moment ___ is on the floor singing: D hahha siick! While waiting for AI to come I realize how I’m tired and my feet are hurting from standing and jumping a lot :/ Then Action Item finally came one stage! There wasn’t a big crowd yet there was a girl pushing me beside me, she had her purse on her shoulder-.- Show was AMAZING! Brian looked in my eyes twice while singing A way with words and___. Anthony was adorable in front of us <3 Dan was amazing!! His short started off light gray and finished with dark gray he was working so hard :P When concert over I get DD CD and then we line up go head downstairs. ½ down I see David and ask him to sign my drumstick and he does, then I fall in love with him even more cuz he has a British accent. Then we first take a group pic with Hollywood Ending, then with days difference, then with Burnham, and then Action Item again. I gave hug to all AI and Burnham and some HE and DD, I tell David from AI that I love his hugs and he answers with I love you, in most serious tone. AHhh<3 Then we remind HE to come to Batman with us after and we will wait, so were outside and not too long after Christ comes down and chills with us. We take a pic with him, and while taking pic he has his arm around my shoulder, then pic over and he doenst move, god I love him, he was talking with his british accent. Julia asked if you british accent was good and he said yes, she sounds like she’s from EnglandXD Then more people come out and I get more signatures, then we get all on one side of the street with Cameron from HE and we wait for there to be no cars and then say GO! We run across yelling nanananananan BATMAN!!!! Omg such an AMAZING moment!! My mom was waiting in car for a while so then we had to go L In the car, Julia fell asleep, and others tired. So I was there for about 8 hours :D

AI played: the farther the distance, learn to fly, collide, when everything falls back down, break even, some days, dress for the weather, without you, defenseless, boy with the microphone, a way with words, satellite, home and then somewhere out there. Omg when Anthony was like HANDS UP , heart skipped a beat, such amazing songs they sang <3

theres a lot of stuff i just cant put in words... :P

Dd: are you happy, radio song, something, speakers, down with me

-Slush with Skittles Drinker

He: One wish, You got me, so over you…

Burnham: catch me id you can, lazy song….

annoying boys

so jeremy said 3 weeks agot hat this weekendhe was gonna have a paintball weeekend. then last weekend he said he prob cant go cuz too much hm to do. then i c on fb that hes going this weekend to laronde with the scouts.... like if he wanted to hang out with me then he could figure something out, like asking if i wanna go, cuz im chill with the guys there. but no, and so ya when we go for a walk in november during the break heres waht i have to say to him:

- i feeel like its a one way relashionship with u, because we dont talk much at all, i know ur really closed up, but it doesnt even seem like your trying to get to know me or to open up

- m friends have made me noticed that ur the one always pushing me, like u start it, then ill continue but when i dont want to u tend to make me, like not in a very bad way but stil, it wud b nice if u respected my boundries

- i know we dont no eachwell at alla dn thats cuz weve only known eachother since june,but your freinds are obvs inportant to you, and i really weud like to meet them, i dont understand y u dont want me to no em, uv said czu their not my type, well dude loook at it this way, their ur freinds, ur my boyfriend so i wanna get to no em, im not trying to make new freinds i just wanna elarn more about you

- i feel like i am your little secret, ur lik gf that no one knows and u can do anything with and no one will no, like u havent tols anyone!!! sure some scouts, but i know y them, u dont care if they no, they dont go to ur school, they r just a diferent side of u, and well i like better that side, the side that doesnt care bout ur school friends

so today is our 3 months anniversary, and since last 2 months im the one mentionning it so lets see if he'll remember

imma continue this later:)

parents

OMG I CANT TAKE THIS! my mom said i cant go to Jeremys tmrw not cuz she doesnt want me taking the bus back but becuz no ones gonna b home here, so what she think hes gonna come voer were gonna ahve sex imma get pregant and sean will b out whiel this happens?????????????? she doesnt feel confurtable. i asked y i cant go and thats all she said!!!! OMFGGG

she really doesnt trust me! like dude! k first imma not have sex yet, for many reasons, 1 me not being on the pill and 2 not in love! as simple as that! she doesnt seem to get if i wanteed to i c#ud have had sex with jeremy very easily already! y cant she trust me at all???

currently blasting SHUT UP BY SIMPLE PLAN , SO SHUT UP SHUT UP DONT WANNA HEAR IT! and WELCOME TO MY LIFE:you might think im happy but im not gonna b ok

if they dont trust me, i meen godd.....im fucking 15!!!!!!!! ALMOST 16!!! IM NOT A FUCKING LIL KID! I HAVE A LIFE! I CAN DOO WHATEVER I WANT! IM A GOOD KID, I DONT DO DRUGS I DONT SMOKE NEVER TRIED AND SEX IS NOT HORRIBLE, SO IF I WANNA JUST CHILL WITH MY BOYFRIEND, and yes KIISSSSSS THATS IT! THEN THAT SHUD B FINEEE!!! STOP TREATING ME LIKE IM A FUCKING BABYY I CAN LIVE MY OWN LIFE SO YOU CAN BABY ME SO MUCH!

omg i cant wait for simple plan! random happy moment!:P

BUT SERIOUSLY! U dont no how happy and excited i was for tmrw! i having spent a day with him in like a month adn ui wanted a day with him, and then boom! nope u cant go! shes tryongto push me away from him-.- i was gonna start my hm all happy for tmrw, now no reason to get up in morning and math test at lucnh i dont wanna do

SO SHUT UP SHUT UP! DONT TELL ME WHO I SHUD BE,AND DONT TRY TO TELL ME WHATS RIGHT FOR ME, DONT TELL ME WHAT I SHUD DO!!!!!! I DONT WANNA WASTE MY TIME OR WATCH U FADE AWAY

SOOOOOOO SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! GET OUT, GET OUT OF MY WAY!

PARENTS CAN BE SO FUCKING ANNOYING!! LET ME LIVE MY FUCKING LIFE WHILE I STILL HAVE ONE CUZ I MIGHT NOT BE THERE TOMORROW AND I WANNA HAVE FUN

HEY DAD LOOK AT ME, THINK BACK AND TALK ME, DID I GROW UP ACCORDING TO PLAN, AND DO U THINK IM WASTING MY TIME DOING THINGS I WANNA DO, BUT IT HURTS WHEN U DESAPROVE ALL ALONG,A DN I TRY HARD TO MAKE IT, I JUST WANNA MAKE U PROUD, IM NEVER GONNA B GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU, U CANT PRETEND THAT IM ALL RIGHT, AND U CANT CHANGE ME, CUZ WE LOST IT ALL NOTHING LAST FOREVER I'M SORRY I CANT BE PERFECT NOW IT WAS JUST TOO LATE, AND WE CANT GOO BACK, I'M SORRY I CANT BE PERFECT

theres like nothing else, well ya sure there is but still, thats makes me this mad, them not trusting me...

IM JUST A KID AND LIFE IS A NIGHTMARE IM JUST A KID I NO THAT ITS NOT FAIR, NOBODY CARES CUZ IM ALINE IN THE WORLD, AND EVERYNIGHT IS THE WORST NIGHT EVER, IM JUST A KID,

HANDS ARE SHAKING COLD, THESE HANDS R MENT TO HOLD, SPEAK TO ME, WEHN ALL U GOT IS KEEP IS STRONG, MOVE ALONG LIKE I NO U DO, AND EVEN WHEN UR HOPE IS GONE, MOVE ALONG JSUT TO MAKE IT THREW

aightimma try to work now, and forget bout stupid parents and how imma ahve to talk-eeww- to my mom bout my love life someday so i can have more freeedom, bnut watch that not work-.-

vampire diaires and month of october

OMGGG i loooove that show soooo much now!! <3<3<3<3 like the love between elanna and stephen <3 annd all the peeps in it r just amazinggg

so week plan: bake cake today for moms bday tmrw,

tmrw put icing on it and all bfor she gets home, today finish her present and card

wed gymnastics

thursday nothing,

friday make ecr movie after school with cath and céleste

weekend: gaby has to take pics of me for art, probs gonna hve dinner for thanksgiving, i gotta c J, even like if we both have too much hm, well we can meet up at the library and just work together there cuz i gotta c him:/ so that seems like my plan, i have reading to do this weekend, LOTS! and durign the week too, and dad dj ing sat and sun, and i wanna hang with mike but i guess the weekend after or something....:/ ohhh and LOTS OF EDITTING for ecr:P but that will b fun, ya so i guess imma b at library hole sat and c if J wants to join, and i gotta out halloween stuff up this weekend!

SHIIT i have recup today.... just realized-.- ahhhh foot alseeeeep-.-

ya and next sat lifeguard starts and i guess it wud b best next weekend for karonde, and then 24 cocnert:D and then week after halloween then aslt week and 1 week off:D

ya so we gotta decide witch party for halloween to go to, cuz im good for both but 1 we dress up the other we dont, so maybe go dress up that one, cuz ITS HALLOWEEN!!!:D on we dress up is friday other sat.... so witch one u wanna go to?