i just have to give the sadness in the world and my life time to sort itself out! cause every little thing is gonna be alright

So tomorrow I will not be communicating with anyone! That's going to be different and I'll also be giving the people that surround me a break from my constant babbling! My cause for being silent is for all the women in the world that don't have the opportunity like me to go to school and all the women and girls that are trying to reach out too people and have a voice. cause I really believe that women are the change! they have such a huge impact! Even in the Adam and Eve story! Eve manages to influence adam to eat an apple! hahaha see we are powerful! but alot girls out there dont know it. I think educating girls is one of the solutions to break the cycle of poverty because then they'll be able to get jobs and support their family economically so the whole world gets something out of it!
My other cause is nature! cause nature doesnt have a voice or a language that we understand and it can't speak out so I'll speak out for the environment! Trees that are being clear cutted, fish that are going extinct because of our fishing habits, whales that get hunted down, energy that is wasted, animals that get treated poorly and that are abused, the tar sands! pretty much every issue related to the environment.
There're not enough people speaking out so I will speak out and raise awareness in the loudest and simplest way possible; by being SILENT!

So today...
well I got in an argument with my mom today. I was just really mad at her and I let it out in very impolite way... when I was yelling a her I wanted her to feel bad and do something about it and it worked but I also really hurt her which I dont really regret I just should have approched it in a different way. I was yelling at her because I had asked her why she isn't applying to work as nurse again because as my dad told me if my mom worked as a nurse again we would be able to slowly get out of our 70 000$ dept we are in...
she wasn't answering the question and was saying it was none of my buisness which got me even more upset because I believe it is my buisness since I am partly helping to pay off the bills as the money in bank account gradually goes away and im a part of this family!. I have about 400$ left and it'll soon be gone but if my mom just pulled her act together we might be able to get out of his mess. It only stresses me out because i see how much it stresses out my dad. I dont care about money I actually hate it but i start wishing I had more when I see what it does to my family.
I apologized to my mom for yelling at her when I got home from bronze cross... I was apologizing for the way I said things not what anyways it was stupid whatever its over tomorrow i wont bother anyone cause i wont be speaking, lets just all be happy cause everything will be alright you just have to give it TIME!
-Sekoya:)

what i will sign my name with!!

I will sign with Sekoya!!cause its a cool name and the name of a tree originally spelt Sequoia!and you guys know i love trees!
I totally wanna name my daughter that but for now i have no daughter so ill use the name for this!!! yay!
-Sekoya

Hallo!!!!

Hallo!!!! I just joined the blog!!!yay! I will be able to write anything I want on this thing!!!yay haha
I still havn't chosen a name to sign with so for now you will just have to guess that it is me who just joined the blog! I'm sure you'll be fine!;)
-...

catching up from other blog:P

So today i have to stay late at school cause i have to go to the rencontre de parents and mine starts at 4:10, in 30 min now. After the bell rang it was nice not being in any rush:D i first went to the informatique guy and he said press 0 till windows opens... then i went to the PME and tryed to get my bro tickets but didnt work then back to lockerroom and i started doing cartwheels and handstands cause thats how bord i am:P then i was like k imma go blog and here ya am!
lalala so yaa today was long but not too long... i got a realyl cramky feeling-:/ but its gone now:D and i gotta pee so imma do that now!

So today i woke up to go to the bathroom then when i came back in my room i thought its REALLY bright out, is the street light not working well? so i open a lil my blinds and see something i was not expecting...SNOWWW!!!!!! the ground was covered with a white blanket. It was all sparkly and then i wanted to sleep a couple min but had to get up. I woke up all happy! Then i head downstairs and make eggos:) we were really late leaving for the bus, at 7, but the buses were late so it was all ok, the time that we got there the first bus left but the second came shortly after and the third as well. in the bus i saw alice and someone there so i figured that was blanche so i pushed threw the people and got there and said hi to b. We talked a lil then i went to my music. We got to school after the first bell had rung, the second bell rang while i was at my locker. I then head to math already late but it was motivé cuz of the snow:D Math was boring and just math. Then art and we looked at stop motion vids and they were pretty sick!!:D i loved looking at them, i really wanna make one myself. Science was sooo boring but at least after we went to the salle jeanine-serres and watched a vif of the grand explorateur, the guy that traveled around the world was there adding comments to him in the movie and stuff. It was pretty interresting, and very gross. lunch came and i had to think of other things if i wanted to eat cuz i was starved but the movie made me lose my appetite. History was pretty chill, i worked with Steph and that went well. The bell rang and for once i was in no rush, such a nice change. I got my bag and things ready and with Cath i headed to Gymnastics! So i get in, warm up balbalaa it was a lot of fun!! i still cant do a front :/ and assis-vrille-assis but i had a lot of fun:D i was so clumpsy! i first hit my left big toe while landing on the trampo after doing my front, then after i was at the tumble track and i ran across the room to get my cam and then on my way back i hit my right big toe on the pouttre... and it still hurts :/ then on the trampo well elbows r hurting butthats normal:P So taking bus back home i took it with Ana, we never really spoke but had nice convo with her, shes in sec 2. bus was bus and then i took 200 and mom picked me up at esso:D i get home and decide to peal my favorite fruit: pomgrenade and i ate it all:S then watched tv and had super. Then did math and now after writting this i will do science but i really dont feel like working, im just so tired :/

So i asked Jeremy if we can go skatting on sat after my swimming and he said he has a party to go to, that his sister said were going to a party.... im kinda upset cuz last 4 weeks, maybe 3 iv been asking if he can go, and hes been busy... and this sat will b our 4 month anniversary and last 3 he hasnt remembered said anything, nothing..:/ iv mentioned it being like wow 3 months already :O and well itd b nice if he made time for me, like if he actually wanted to c me then he cud ditch his sister and the party... he cud atleast invite me to come but ohh nooo cuz i cant meet his friends -.- then he asked me if tmrw i wanted to go with him and the scouts skatting but one i prob cant make it and he didnt seem to mind at all and two we wont be alone, i wanna go skatting alove with him and really talk.....

in general, today has been a pretty good day! :D snow, gymnastics, pomgrande, movie, yeeahh and now one day and i have friday off and i will get to sleep in and do homeowrk all day!

math-.-

Alright so i just got a leetter from my teacher saying that i should go to the schools Saturday classes for math cause im failling…. Happy cuz i wanna get better but is that raelly gonna help? Recup really doesnt… bad: i will no longer get any sleep in my life and saturdays i have lifeguard classes from 2:30 to 5:30 then i go skatting, god Saturday are now completly full and long…
The worst part is my math teacher thinks i don't care and try, he says you need to work harder… he asked me what i got on the last exam and i said 11/30, i didnt understand the exam and i still dont and then he just says we did this many times in class. You see i was starting to understand it then exam comes and im totally lost! Im so pissed off!!! I tryed hard for that exam and it was a fail, literaly.. And teacher hates me-.-

feeling inside me

well eka, i might have some wrong facts in here but ya... its gonna seem pretty random and weird the following text...remember you wanted to read it. you may just think after reading this that i dont understand anything at all but yuup ok goo read! :)


So you see i have many friends and most of them if not all are broken:
Julia: her mom is an alcoholic, her dad has thought about leaving her so he and his 3 daughters can have a better life but he wont because he promised her parents that he would take care of her and never leave her no matter what. So Julia has to live with her mom not having a job, and not being herself. So she makes sure she's always occupied so she doesn't have to think about it.
Blanche: Her parents broke up 1/2 way threw her life. She has gotten used to the fact but then recently her mom has been dating another guy and they bought a house in Laval. It was really killing her, the way her mom was acting and her waking up with those orange walls. She prefers being at her dad's where she's always lived and been at home. She feels like her mom hates her and no one understands her. She's afraid of others, always need more confidence to face the world... She calls me often to complain about her parents, what her mom just did or said. Once when I went over there for a sleepover, she pissed off her mom so much she called her dad to come pick her up and bring her to his house and i witnessed it all.
Erika: her parents almost split up hwen she was lilttle.. She went threw everything like it did happen only in the end they stayed together, and now they seem perfect:P Her parents don't give her much liberty but they do understand her not at all like my parents. They understand her love for music, and don't treat her so young. Summer 2010 she fell in love with this guy from camp. She was convinced he liked her to till he asked out her best friend. Her bestie rejected him by saying that Erika liked him and then he just pretended that it never happened after. She goes threw a lot everyday, She has these dark moments you could say... She has no trust in the world, no optimism.
Gaby: She is you could say more rich then others... Her parents let her do whatever she wants, they give her lots of liberty and she has been messed up her whole life. In sec 2 she got the news that her cousin a year older then her was pregnant. she spent many hours helping her cousin threw out the pregnancy. She started sleeping less. Then in sec 3 the baby was born and she spent many nights with the baby. Then to top everything off, a couple months later, the mom was in the bus holding her baby and while getting out of the bus someone pushed her and the baby was killed. Threw out the school year of sec 3 she had friends she spent her school hours with and then they started being bitches. At the end of the year she said i won't be hanging out with you guys much, hopefully next year cause i'm sick, its nothing personal. They never even talked to her after that:/ Now at this moment gaby spent the last week at a mental hospital. She wasn't about to kill herself, although that's what her parents thought when they found out with year, but she has had way to much drama going on. For those who watched the last season of Gossip Girl, you would have thought they stole gabys life...
Joelle: She's my friend from primary. i havent seen her much since high school but we still talk. She has gone threw a lot... She has had a lot of drama in the sense that her parents made her brake up with her boyfriend on the day of my birthday party, she had a really hard time making friends in high school and they have done really meen things to her. She has had boy drama and all the high school drama...
Alice: She's my old friend, she doesn't know it but she's anorexic, she's terrified to lose her family, she's very weird...
Jeremy: His parents divorced a long time ago! He's lived with dealing with it, but he doesn't seem to like his dad too much. His mom is 1/2 blind so she cant drive and i cant imagine that! He has had his heart broken by ex girlfriends and now i see that he cant trust anyone, including me. He has this wall up and it won't come down for a long time i know that...
Alex: He fell in love with this girl named Zoe in like 4 grade and since then they went out 3 times, he only thinks about her, when they aren't together he goes out with other girls to try to forget about Zoe and his life revolves around Zoe. His parents drive him insane...

So you see all these people i have and am around, it sometimes gets to me. The people i care about all have stuff going on. Me here's have iv been threw: i lost my first best friend just before first grade because i moved, then another one in like fourth grade, then one in sec 3, so ya iv been threw friends... I haven't been threw anything!! as horrible as it may sound, i sometimes wish something horrible would happen to me so that i could have something to b strong about, Because i complain about my stupid small parent and old friend problems and all little tiny things, yet i cant even be strong about that. I am so weak and i hate it. iv never been threw that .. i feel just so young, so useless, so stupid...

Everyone has a reason to be scared, and they are. I just feel like a lost fish in the sea... i know it sounds so stupid what i'm saying and i should just be happy nothing has happened to me, but i guess i figure it will someday ....i should be thinking about how lucky i am compared to my friends, yet i think of how unbroken i am to everyone else and how i can never relate to them.
I cant explain how i feel... guess i feel kinda lost,....?


soooo thats what i had written the other day... yup:)

what i like bout jeremy

After that lunch came and erika and julia were asking what i like about Jeremy, my boyfriend. i said i cudnt just say points like that. later i had history and here's what i came up with: he makes me happy, ill b around him and i just feel less stress, like nothing matters... ii feel safe with him, like he'll pretect me against anything, i feel like i can tell him anything, sure there r moments where it doesnt seem that way but iv had moments where i wanted to pour my life out to him, tell him everything. it feels like home around him, calm, nice, good, right. hes fun to b with, it seems like he has no rules like just ahve fun, doesnt matter but anything else but that moment. He makes me feel alive... when im with him, its like its just us, i cant explain to my friends what its like being with him, or what i like about him....