What is this fuckery?

My mom can get me so pissed off at times. I understand that she hates her job and she's been getting home really late soon, but that is not a good enough reason to come home, complain about how we didn't wait to eat supper with you. When you called to say that you were going shopping for a bit and come home at 8pm, you expect us to have waited for you for supper? You didn't ask, you just say "It would've been nice if you waited to eat with me." when you walk in. Atleast supper is ready for you on the table, appreciate the little things please. We weren't about to starve ourselves for you so you could go shopping. So, then you're pissed at us, so you do the most childish thing ever, you grab your freaking iPad, turn your back to us & eat your READY-MADE supper. After ignoring us for 30 minutes, you get up and announce "I guess I'm not wanted here. I'm going upstairs." Then, because I know you'll be even more pissed off if I don't stop you (because honestly, no one wants you around when you're like this.), I say "No, come watch X Factor with us." So, she sighs like this is a pain in the ass to come sit with us and she asks me how my day was. I say, "It was fun." and I start explaining everything. After I'm done, she says "That sounds nice.." and then, under her breath, "Enjoy the fun while it lasts." -.- She complains and complains and complains and she doesn't acknowledge anything she does have. She starts saying "I'm miserable, I'm going to quit." Dude, you quit, you do realize that until you find another job, my dad will need to work his butt off? You're so inconsiderate. If you want to quit, start searching for another job before, you have a family to help support. Then, she starts swearing at everything that's happening on TV and I just want to tell her to shut up. She started bad mouthing Nicole (judge on the X Factor) who yes, made a huuuuge mistake, but holy fuck, I lost it. I raised my voice and told her "Yes, Nicole made a huge mistake, but don't we all? She was under pressure and her reaction was totally and completely human. As YOU've said before, when your in the moment, the adrenaline gets to you and you never know what you will do. Every one of us messes up. Every one of us goes against morals at some point. Have you never gone against your morals, please do share. You are now calling the judge in tears a bitch? Are you serious? Can you not see she's broken? Would you like a full crowd of people and people worldwide booing you for one mistake. No? I didn't think so." I completely shut her up. She had nothing to say. She just told me that her keeping her job is against her morals. She didn't object me, she didn't give me shit... She then proceeded to change the subject like everything's alright, once she's gotten everyone else in the room pissed off. I despise when she does this. She then asks the most stupid question of all, "So do you guys really want to celebrate Christmas or not?" OUT OF NO WHERE. "I just feel like I'm the only one who cares about family." Oh, you're no fucking saint. Shut your trap. YOU ALWAYS THINK IM TH ONE WHO HAS ISSUES, WHO HAS A PROBLEM, WELL GUESS WHAT, YOU'RE PRETTY FUCKED AS WELL, CONGRATULATIONS. I always remind you that I love you, how much I care and every time, after a month, it's like you don't believe it anymore and you have to guilt trip me. You are a fucking kid and I can't always deal with that. I try as hard as I can, but you need to grow up. Daddy just asked you to come sit next to him and you, like the ass hole you're being, said "It's getting late." WHO THE HELL ASKED YOU? You're lucky that he came to sit by you instead while you sulk like a toddler. I can't even stand to look at you when you're like this. Whenever you're in a bad mood, you make everyone else fucking unhappy. Stop being a kid, I have no sympathy for you when you're like this. Whiny. You told me when I was 5 that whining was annoying... Guess what? It still is when you do it. So stop.

Now, obviously you've gone back to normal and you're sucking up to me with singing lessons. You're such a child. I'll take it for now because you actually sound sincere about it. Ah fuck off. How dare you tell my dad: "You might as well be single because we never see eachother." Stop making him feel guilty. It gets to him. It doesn't get to me. Not anymore. Done with your mind games. And do not blame how you act on your job, you've always been like this. That's why daddy left.

I feel like I'm the oldest in this family sometimes.

-Eka
Letting out feelings while the events are happening feels pretty great. Not as mad anymore!